fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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