Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
