That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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