Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
