im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
