I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize