She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
