I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize