We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
