I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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