Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
