Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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