You don't have asthma, your pregnant
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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