they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Tornado booty call.. dedication
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize