Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
