Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
