you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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