Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
