im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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