he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize