also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
