glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
