Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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