I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
