your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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