life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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