what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize