he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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