and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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