Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
