your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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