Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize