So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
