I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
