you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
