I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
