forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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