Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
