I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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