you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize