end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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