Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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