i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize