Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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