if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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