they need to just BURY HIM!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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