By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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