i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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