He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
