What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
