I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
