If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
