i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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