Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
