After last night, I could never be a politician.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
