just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
