then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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